Four Signs Someone You Love (Including Yourself) May Need Help With Their Finances

As an estate planning attorney and a Certified Financial Planner™, almost all aspects of financial management are second nature to me. (Except using an ATM, which I haven’t done in over a decade.) Even with my experience, I’m confronted with the fact that everyone’s financial world is getting more complex all the time. That can make for some real challenges later in life.

Managing money involves a surprising number of little tasks like paying bills, reviewing statements, watching bank accounts, dealing with insurance, filing taxes and avoiding scams. Heck, even logging into an online account is getting more complex. As we age, these tasks can become harder and asking for help is not always the natural reaction. Here are some items to consider in identifying and addressing red flags that can signal someone’s need for help:

1. Bills are being missed—or paid twice.

An occasional mistake happens. But repeated late notices, overdrafts, duplicate payments or utilities nearly being shut off may mean someone is having trouble keeping everything straight.

Where to start: A family member may simply need to help organize bills or set up automatic payments. If that’s not enough, start by checking with the American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM) aadmm.com. You can locate a daily money management professional in your area from the website. They can help with organizing assets and paying bills. My clients who use them are very thankful.

2. Unusual confusion about money.

Someone who has always handled the finances suddenly can’t explain where accounts are located, how much money they have or why certain transactions occurred.

Where to start: This may be a good time to involve a trusted family member along with the person’s financial advisor, CPA, or attorney. This is also a good time to review who is named as successor trustee or agent under a financial power of attorney and talk with them about when and how they should be involved. Check for those documents. It might even be time to add a current co-trustee on a trust.

3. The appearance of strange purchases, withdrawals or gifts.

Large charitable donations, unexpected cash withdrawals, payments to unfamiliar people or sudden wire transfers deserve attention, particularly when they are out of character.

Where to start: If you suspect that a vulnerable adult is being financially exploited, Michigan Adult Protective Services can be reached 24 hours a day at 855-444-3911.

4. Money becoming a source of anxiety or avoidance.

Statements stay unopened. Financial conversations get pushed aside. Or you begin hearing, “I just don’t want to deal with this anymore.”

Where to start: Don’t wait until everything has to be taken over. Often the answer is simply providing some assistance with organizing accounts, monitoring transactions, paying bills or coordinating with professional advisors. I often meet with estate planning clients who have been independent for decades, but now realize it’s time to bring in a trusted family member or friend who can begin to assist in financial activities. The anxiety often drops substantially once a person acknowledges the need for help and identifies a trusted helper.

Independence is part of human nature, and asking for help can be difficult for many people. A delicate balance of respect and probing can help to fully understand the situation.

Don’t wait for a major problem. Start exploring options as early as possible.

Fun Fact: Fall is here, and apple cider is abundant. Yates Cider Mill in Rochester Hills is Michigan’s oldest cider mill. The land was purchased in 1863, while Abraham Lincoln was president and the mill was pressing cider by 1876. Its water-powered turbine, installed in 1894, still powers the cider press today.

We’ve Seen This Picture Before

The headlines are enough to scare anyone:

“It Will Be Goodbye to the Office Worker”

“You’re Not Very Smart After All”

“The Human Brain is Not Obsolete”

The fears of AI are everywhere, ranging from how it may change our working lives to how it might be a danger to human life overall. It’s not something to be taken lightly, but then again, it’s also nothing new. The three headlines quoted above are all from the 1950s, when computers in general first began to be recognized for their potential in organizing and analyzing information, and for their potential danger to society.

We can also run through what I term the historical menaces. There was “The Radio Menace” headline from 1933 which Time reported on, when newspapers thought radio would spread incomplete or politically manipulated news and destroy traditional journalism. Even before that, we had “The Automobile Menace” which was a headline in 1917 in World News when the automobile was often described as a threat to life, safety, and the establishment of social order. (Wow!)

The human being’s ability to imagine, invent, and develop has no ceiling. The ability of man-made computers to analyze and perform increasingly complex tasks is a perfect example.

I think the threat is real regarding unsupervised AI development in a competitive environment where risk-taking is at its extreme. I also think the pain of certain jobs becoming obsolete is real and those workers need to be handled favorably.

But I also want to point out three things that AI is already doing positively:

1. It’s helping doctors detect cancers and other diseases in medical images and identifying promising new drugs. It’s helping to monitor patients and reduce administrative work that consumes doctors’ time. When used correctly, it supports, not replaces, a physician’s judgment.
2. It has expanded and accelerated basic knowledge and expertise, including inexpensive tutoring, instant translation of languages and the explanation of complex subjects in plain English. As a personal example, we had a problem with the pilot light for our gas fireplace at our cabin up north. Our first response was to call the “fireplace guy” who installed it, but when we received no follow-up reply it dawned on me to take a picture of the fireplace unit and the wiring in particular. I uploaded the pictures to ChatGPT and it explained to me clearly what kind of setup I had and how to reset the pilot light, which I did in all of about five minutes. (For you DIYers, it involved more than just holding the button down until the thermocouple warmed up).
3. It’s providing more safety because it can help predict severe weather, detect financial fraud, and identify equipment failures early on.

During the automobile’s early boom, hundreds of American companies rushed to build the next great car. By one estimate, 253 manufacturers were operating in 1908 alone. Most disappeared, leaving a small number of dominant survivors.

The same situation exists today. Enormous excitement, hundreds of startups, competing technologies, overabundant investment. Yet no one knows which companies will become the Ford or General Motors of artificial intelligence.

There is a lot of talk of slowing down AI, which is not the first time technology has been asked to do so. When automobiles first appeared, the “Red Flag Act” in some communities required a person to walk at least 60 yards in front of the vehicle waving a red flag to warn horses and pedestrians. When revolutionary technology arrives, the human instinct is to make it operate at the speed of the world it is replacing.

Hold on tight, as things are a bit scary, but they are also unbelievably exciting. I fully believe that the best of human experience is still ahead of us.

Fun Fact: When electric lights were first installed in homes, many fixtures looked like gas lamps and pointed upward—even though electric bulbs did not need to. People were more comfortable with the unfamiliar technology when it resembled something they already understood.

A Waterway Filled With Heroes

I can’t believe it’s been 25 years since the 9/11 attacks. It was such a powerful event that I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the news hit. And I mean exactly. I was making a Michigan left turn on Woodward Avenue just south of Maple Road, on my way toward my office in Birmingham, when the radio announcer, who thought she was describing a small plane crash into the first tower, reacted on air to a second plane hitting the second tower.

Everything changed in a split second.  The hair on the back of my neck stood up. From that point on, the world was different.

There are many stories of tragedy and heroism surrounding the 9/11 attacks. I recently came across an inspiring story about boats and people from all types of backgrounds coming together to rise above. With all the angst that hangs over our country at the moment, I think it’s a good story to remember.

After the towers fell, bridges, tunnels, and much of the transportation system in Lower Manhattan had to be shut down. Manhattan is an island, so that effectively trapped hundreds of thousands of people. In the middle of all of the panic, U.S. Coast Guard Lieutenant Mike Day boarded a pilot boat and radioed for any available vessel to come and help.

And help did indeed come—from tugboats, ferries, tour boats, fishing boats, and private boats. More than 150 vessels ultimately responded, and the Coast Guard estimates that more than 500,000 people were evacuated by water in a matter of 9 hours. It was one of the largest maritime evacuations ever.

Even an old World War II veteran got to suit up one last time. One of the boats helping with the evacuation was the Sightseer XII, a Circle Line tourist boat that had originally been a Coast Guard cutter during World War II. Decades later, it was pressed into service again.

What I find amazing about the 9/11 maritime evacuation is how much of it was improvised in the middle of an unprecedented emergency. Americans on boats risked their lives and rose to the occasion to help others.

Twenty-five years ago today, America experienced one of the worst situations imaginable, but Americans responded in a truly inspiring and uniquely American way.

Inspiring Fact: Twin beams of light will shine from the summit of Mount Washington in New Hampshire from September 9 through 12, 2026, reaching four and a half miles into the sky. Inspired by New York City’s Tribute in Light, this display honors those lost, first responders, and veterans