Does it Really Take $5 Million to Achieve the American Dream?

I came across an interesting article last week in USA Today referencing a survey done by the online platform Investopedia. As that name suggests, Investopedia is encyclopedic in terms of the various financial topics it delves into. They went out to answer the question “What does it take to achieve the basic American dream?” They asked 1,263 adults to identify goals that they associate with the American dream and most came up with these eight categories:

1. Retire comfortably.
2. Afford quality healthcare.
3. Own a home.
4. Raise a family.
5. Own a new car.
6. Take an annual vacation.
7. Care for pets.
8. Have a wedding.

The folks at Investopedia then attempted to tabulate the lifetime costs of each goal, looking at data from federal agencies, think tanks and industry groups. Based on that research here are the lifetime costs associated with each goal, from largest to smallest:

1. Retirement: $1.6 million.
2. Owning a home: $957,594.
3. Owning a new car: $900,346.
4. Raising two children and paying for college: $876,092.
5. Healthcare: $414,208.
6. Annual vacations: $180,621.
7. Pets: $39,381.
8. Wedding: $38,200.

If you add all those up, you get $5,043,323 needed over your lifetime to achieve “the American Dream.” USA Today goes on to point out that the average American with a bachelor’s degree earns roughly $2.8 million over his or her career. Wow, those two numbers don’t add up well. And the costs are going up. Over just the last year the lifetime cost for purchasing and maintaining new cars went up by about $88,000 while the lifetime homeownership cost went up by about $28,000.

Before you fret too much for yourself or your kids, be aware that there is some controversy associated with this study. Some experts believe that the numbers above are those enjoyed by the top 10% of income earners and that everyone else can achieve their dreams at a lower cost. I still think that the numbers above serve as good reminders of just how much of a financial commitment goes into enjoying the life to which many of us aspire. Keep the faith, you can achieve the American dream if you haven’t already.

Fun fact: As we usher in the new year you should know that 2026 will actually have 53 weeks instead of 52. That’s according to the ISO standard which counts week starting on Monday and ending on Sunday. The extra week is occurring because January 1, 2026, fell on a Thursday making the year contain 365 days but more than 52 Monday to Sunday cycles.

107, 104 and 82

The three numbers above seem arbitrary. They’re relatively small if you’re talking about dollars and cents. But what if I told you the first number (107) is the age of a new client (I’ll call her Lena for privacy’s sake) I met just before Christmas; the second number (104) was the age of Lena’s husband who died several weeks ago; and the third number (82) is the number of years they had been married at the time of the husband’s death. Just to give you more context, the longest marriage in the US lasted 83 years and the longest marriage anywhere on record is 86 years. When my assistant, Cindy, gave me the detailed phone message, I thought it was a hoax.

I was told that despite being a little hard of hearing (primarily based on her refusal to wear one of her two hearing aids), Lena was clear thinking and somewhat self-sufficient. She and her husband lived alone together in a two-story colonial up until his death. Sure enough, the person I met was a little slow of gate and a bit hard of hearing, but she followed along, asked good questions and was dressed to a T as well!

I learned some amazing things about Lena and her family. Including:

1. She and her husband played golf until he was 100 and even drove to Myrtle Beach annually to get in some golf rounds.
2. She and her sister (still alive at 102) were both original Rosie the Riveters, working in General Motors plants in Detroit making military equipment during WWII.
3. I found nothing particularly unique about her lifestyle. She was very social as was her husband, and they enjoyed an occasional cocktail and travelled extensively.

She never complained in my office or got fidgety during the hour-long session. Heck, she didn’t even need to use the bathroom after the meeting (unlike me, lol). And she told me she was as surprised as anyone by the length of her life.

Opportunities for me to cross paths with unique people like Lena are what makes my practice worthwhile. I’ve heard and witnessed great stories of commitment, perseverance, and compassion over my decades of estate and financial planning. If you’re reading this then we’ve likely sat down in my office several times over the years to “get things in order.” You, too, have given me a story, however large or small, that encouraged and/or inspired me. Thank you!

P.S. As I finished writing this it dawned on me that this could be taken as my “farewell” message. No way! I recently emblazoned three numbers in my head – 107, 104 and 82. See you soon!

Fun Fact: Rosie the Riveter wasn’t a single real person, but an iconic symbol for the millions of American women who worked in factories and shipyards during World War II, producing munitions and war supplies, with several real women inspiring the image, most notably Naomi Parker Fraley, whose photo became the basis for the famous “We Can Do It!” poster. Naomi lived to age 96.

(Almost) Everything is Negotiable

As a young lawyer I worked at the Oakland County prosecutor’s office. I had a good friend in the office by the name of Paul. He was a big Italian kid, played football at Hillsdale College and had a low gravelly voice straight out of a Mafia movie. I learned two things from Paul: use ice cold water when you make coffee (he was a connoisseur) and never forget that you can negotiate the price of just about anything.

The first time it happened it was somewhat of a shock. Paul and I were on a lunch break at a shopping mall near the courthouse looking at shoes. The price was clearly listed but when the salesperson came up, Paul slowly and calmly began to work down the price. After I watched Paul do this in several different situations, I came to realize that just about anything is negotiable.

Now, I will confess, in my younger days I could take it too far. My wife still likes to remind me about the time that I was trying to negotiate the price of a kitchen table at a furniture store. When the salesman said he could go no lower I whispered to her “let’s head for the door, they’ll stop us before we get out.” Nothing happened and out we went…without the table. I didn’t tell Paul about that one.

The cost of negotiation is in time and energy, which some people would rather avoid. But too often people hear the price and think that’s the end of the conversation. In most instances you can, in a very polite and non-stressful way, probe for a little better deal. Remember the rule: the worst they can say is no. Here are some items worth trying to negotiate:

Rent: The advertised rent of an apartment is what the landlord hopes to get. It never hurts to work for a lower amount by showing market averages or considering a longer lease. My clients who are landlords tell me that they will give reduced rent in return for people that they think will take good care of things and will make a long-term commitment.

Medical bills: People get a complicated looking bill in the mail and think that’s the end of the discussion. That’s not necessarily the case. Simply indicating that you can afford to pay immediately if they lower the price sometimes does wonders.

Subscription services: Companies providing subscription services for cell phones, cable and even XM radio don’t want you to leave. If you shop the competition and go back to your current provider with the idea that you’re thinking of leaving, you’ll be amazed on how flexible they can be in changing your bill.

Airline miles: One of my sons came home last weekend from Chicago on a Delta flight. It was the second time in a row that his flight was delayed. He went to the front desk and explained how much trouble the delay caused (twice) and was initially offered 3,000 Delta miles for his troubles. He tells me he conveyed his appreciation and told the person he thought more miles were in order based on the length of the delay. Sure enough after the attendant talked to her manager he left with 10,000 Delta miles. No yelling, just a little persistence.

Negotiating prices is out of many people’s comfort zone. You don’t have to be aggressive or disrespectful to be effective. In fact, the nicer and calmer you are the better your chances of getting someone to give you some special treatment. Just be careful in furniture stores 😊.

Fun Fact: Speaking of negotiation, a guy named Ron Cobb was hired by Steven Spielberg to direct a sequel to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, called Night Skies. Eventually, Spielberg took over the directing and changed the name to E. T. Ron Cobb was able to negotiate a single percentage point from Spielberg’s share of the deal. Based on E.T.’s success, Cobb’s first check was for over $1 million, and he continued to get checks until his death in 2020.